Chronicles of a 15 year old Meagn

Whitney over at High Cotton actually inspired e to do this. As I may or may not have mentioned, I've been blogging for quite a while. Well not actually blogging, just more like journaling into a "blog" that I rarely shared with anyone. I think my first post was somewhere around 2004. I was such a ridiculously lame cool kid back then. Whitney takes her old journal posts and adds present day thoughts and comments in there. I totally crack up at what she has to say, so I decided to give it my own shot. My thoughts and comments (will look like this.)

Now hop in my time machine and let's take a trip back to yester-year. Just know it was hard for me not to correct the spelling errors that youngster me made. How embarrassing. Just a little background on this entry. I was 15, and a sophomore in high school. Daniel was my first "real" boyfriend where we actually had our parents take us went places. We "went out" for 2 months, and he broke up with me right after Christmas because we were "too serious." Fast forward about 4 or 5 years and he told me he was actually gay. Get it? Got it? Good. and break!

February 18th, 2005

This week has been really hard on me and stressful. (Seriously? You are 15! What is so stressful? You don't know stress squirt) with my Busy schedule (You go to school. Practice. Home.), dropping grades (You me from A's to B's. Yep, total failure), emotions going haywire (very likly true), and everything else thrown in the pot its just really "hecktic" (Did they not have spell check back then?). this day off was well needed and deserved. I've been struggling with trying to sort of understand where me and daniel stand in our relationship (I'll tell you where you stand. He's gay. He just didn't admit it yet).. and after a good week of that bothering me, in 5 mins of talking to myself (Never admit you talk to yourself, honey) i realize that he's right and we should try to fallin love again, imf it happens it happens. but we shouldnt get so dependent on the other. I mean i care and love this Man  desperately (He's 15 for crying out loud!), he's an amazingly wonderful person (Ew. I was that person who uses "amazing" all the time that I now hate). Maybe not my soul mate (Good, good. We're making progress here), but he's supposed to be in my life and I dont want to lose him again (Again, you are 15 and he's GAY. He likes boys. You had to have known!). I know it hurts, but i know where things stand with him and I now. So after this weekend, we'll start to set things back in order i suppose.. with Mock Trial getting close to the Wire, NHS kicking up (You had two meetings a year. Boo-freaking-hoo), Jazz band, Symphonic band (Yeah band! Current day readers, don't be hatin'), Honors lit, Algebra, and that gosh danged class they call spanish, along with Having all the above on my mind (Oh yes, such a hard little life you got there, Megan), and trying to carry out a social life (If by social life you mean sit at the computer and chat on AIM, then go ahead) at the same time. i've hardly had time to talk to him lately (altho I'd rather go with out talking to him for a night at a time, than loose him forever) its been really hard on me (there, there young Megan. Everything is going to be fine).. I've got Mock Trial Competition tomorrow morning, then I'll come back and go see Daniel for the night (By go see, I mean, have my mom drop me off at his house).. so that should be helpful and somewhat relaxing, hopefully i wont feel bad a/b screwing up my statement.. (which i will more than likely do) (By statement, I was talking about my opening argument for our practice case. Okay, so I was a total loser. So shoot me) l8r dayz -Megan (Seriously? Who says that? Pepperanne?)

Well, that was embarassing enlightening. I always thought I was so much cooler than that..