April 15, 2013

That time a stranger decided he lived with us

So yesterday was interesting, and I've been rather hesitant to post this, because I was initially feeling bad, until I did a little bit of googling but, long story short, now I'm not.

In the wee hours of Sunday morning, the two dogs started freaking out. Cole barks at leaves, so initially I wasn't alarmed until the hair on the back of Casey's neck stood up. If you don't know her, Casey is the most loving, concerned dog on the face of this earth, and up until yesterday, I had only ever heard her growl twice (both times were at night to people she wasn't familiar with). So yeah, safe to say at this point I'm a little startled, plus I was in the middle of rem sleep.. and well, homie don't play when it comes to my sleep.

Well, I do what any self respecting gun owner in the south would do. I pick up my pink pistol and I stumble tip toe quietly walk downstairs to where I find Billy already at the door where this incessant knocking is going on.. except not near as cute and subtle as Sheldon.

Now, let me warn all of you dear readers out there--unless you are God, Sheldon, or the fire department; you have no business knocking on anybody's door before 8:00. Even if this gentleman forgot to set his clock for daylight saving's time a month ago, it should have been pretty obvious, because the damn sun wasn't even remotely peeking out.

If Billy were here, I'd let him finish the story, because he took the reins from here, but it's the Megan show, so I'll continue.. Billy of course asks, who is it? It's Bob man, open up (Even though the name he used isn't his real name so we found out later, I'm still going to withhold it) Ok, who are you? Dude, open up. It's me. I don't know who you are, so back up from the door so I can see you (There isn't a peep hole on their door, so you have to look through the window. The guy had to be asked 3 times to back up before he finally did so Billy could even see who it was. As we assumed, it was nobody we knew. Meanwhile we have 200lbs of dog waiting to tear into this dude for screwing with their sleep so I'm surprised he hadn't high tailed it out of the yard by this point.) Man, I don't know you. I think you are at the wrong house. No man, this is my house. No, it's not. I suggest you leave right now. 

The individual turns and finally walks away. Cool. Great. It was then at this point we realized the man is belligerently drunk. I'm not sure what gave it away.. maybe it was the fact that he fell off the front porch and into the bushes? The part where he walked into my car, then into his own car? The part where he hit his head getting into his car? or the part where he let his car alarm go off to 4 minutes before he finally turned it off. You be the judge. I looked at Billy and asked if we should call the cops, because that dude had no, none, zilch, nada, zero reason to be behind the wheel of a car. We both agreed that if he decided to leave the culdesac, he would, because driving under any sort of influence is just not okay. The guy made another bad decision, and decided to leave which is when Billy called the 911. The operator  asked him to stay on the line, because we could tell that the wonderful citizen person had went further into the neighborhood, and not back out on the road. We watch, the guy comes back. My heart is racing, because I thought he could be coming back to the house, but alas he just turned around in the culdasac and went right back into the neighborhood where he came from. He did this 4 or 5 times before he finally found his way out of the neighborhood.. well sorta. I'm growing concerned, because why on earth would he keep going in circles, and how long was it going to be before he hit something or someone. Also, Billy's neighborhood is hard to navigate sober because of all the cars parked on the street, much less intoxicated. The operator thanked us and let him go. A few short seconds later, we hear a quick flash of a siren followed by a beep beep beep (you know, think the sound of a tow truck backing up). A few hours later, there was a call from a number I hadn't seen before, it was the arresting officer calling to get Billy's information as a witness in case he needed to be subpoena'd. Apparently the guy was "fubar" and thought he was at his home which is actually in the next CITY over--He was still 20/30 mins away from where he was really supposed to be going. How does one do that?

At first I felt bad, because I know how badly this could ruin his life, career, and even family (not saying that what he did was okay by any means).. I'm still mad at how careless, stupid, reckless, rude, and just uggggh he was for driving in the condition he was in.
Then again, in our defense, what other choice did we have besides taking his keys away and calling his mommy--but who were we to know if he would have put up a fight or had a weapon or what. Heck, we could have ended up begin sued if we tried that approach. I'm even more mad, because after a little Google search apparently this isn't his first DWI rodeo. So I'm not near as sympathetic to him just being a dumb person making a stupid mistake. This guy is just an idiot who repeatedly doesn't takes his life as well other others lives and safety into consideration. How can someone be such a jackass?

After all that was over, we went to upstate SC to watch Billy's brother's college team win both games in a double header. I loved seeing some familiar city names and buildings from the interstate as we made our way through my old neck of the woods.

Now it's back to work for the last day of busy season! Make sure you get your taxes in today ;)


  1. now that is a story! I wouldn't feel bad at all, you did the right thing

  2. Wow that is crazy! You guys definitely did the right thing..hopefully something good will come from this incident and maybe the guy will learn his lesson?