June 24, 2013

My vow to myself

When I was a kid.. more like pre-teen, I would sit in my room hours on end and listen to music. Not only would I just listen, I would analyze the lyrics. I was that kid that would pause every 3 words so that I could write them down in my lyric journal. I would pour over them, ponder, take them in and learn lessons that others had to experience the hard way. It was my thing.. Side note: that was the point in my life where I wanted to be a songwriter. I was no Hillary Lindsay either.

I remember one song that stood out to me even back then. Actually, poetically (if that's even the right word) it wasn't even beautiful. It was the point of the song that I could feel the hurt in the writers' words that he was hurt. This song was one of those I headed the advice of someone much older and wiser than myself. I printed the lyrics and had them framed as a reminder that I was never going to allow myself to feel the angst and suffering that he had endured.

The song was "A lot of things different" performed Kenny Chesney, but written by Bill Anderson and Dean Dillon.. go ahead, laugh it up. Like I said, it wasn't poetic at all! Something about that song just got to me, and from that point in my life forward I vowed to never regret anything. The song described all of the things that the person wished he would have done different or changed in his life. I refused to ever be that person wishing they had done something different, spoken when they didn't, missed out on a chance to dance, or passed up the opportunity of a lifetime because they were too afraid to jump.

Don't get me wrong, I know there will be times that I may look back and say "What was I thinking?" but it won't be with regret, it will be with a learned lesson in my pocket. I will have done what I knew I needed to do in that moment, I will have taken that chance, laughed loud, loved hard, jumped high and far, danced in the rain.. all while my heart is racing and full of butterflies and smiles.

A long time ago, I vowed to take life by the horns, and I am doing just that.
I only have one life to live, and it will be enough, because I am going to do it right the first time.