May 3, 2013

Don't you dare even think about it

Here I go again with the hiatus apologies. I know it's getting old.. but seriously, you really didn't want to hear from me. I have had my cranky pants on this week--and in a size XXL.
Everything that could go wrong did. Everything, even in the smallest dose annoyed me. Here is a list of things I believe people have been doing recently just because they know I am about to go Teresa Giudice on them. I swear, do not even think about doing these in my presence or I will flip a table on you.

Bad drivers in general -- I initially had a long list of things that have bothered me this week. I realized that 70% of them are all. Drive or die!
1. Why must people that drive slow in the left lane? You just look like a jackass, and I hope the death stare I give you shaves years off your life.
2. Don't wait until the last second to get over to exit. This especially drives me nuts during rush hour. You drive these streets everyday, there is no excuse for you not to know you are getting off in 1/2 a mile! Just because you are going faster for longer doesn't mean you get there sooner. Actually, because you have to slam on breaks and wait for a break in traffic to move over 3 lanes took longer. I'm looking at you, silver Dodge Charger that did this to me Tuesday. You stopped, making me slam on my breaks causing my lunch to fall to it's death. Obviously I haven't let it go yet.

Hashtag abuse -- This is especially prominent in old people and fake "hip" people of facebook. First of all, unless it's an instagram or twitter linked post, hashtags are irrelevant otherwise. Other things that make hashtags improperly used: spaces between the words, special characters, over use of hashtags (seriously, do you need 9?), and hashtags that prove you don't really know what hashtags are. This was a real hashtag I saw this week: #25yearsold=maturity These people also tend to share another one of my huge pet peeves, stupidity. It hurts.

Lazy People -- My job can be described as a support position. Everyone depends on me. However, this week especially, or so it seems, people are getting really extra lazy. They give zero effort to try to solve their problems themselves, and they expect ME to come to them for something THEY want. umm no.. ain't happening missy. I can't stand when I have to stop what I am doing to help someone who could have easily figured something out for themselves, but they choose not to, because I can do it for them.

So I would apologize for my absence  but I'm actually not sorry, because it could have very resulted in either one of you reporting me to a watch list of potential murderers. That would be bad, because it would get in the way of my plot to rid the world of stupid people. You can thank me later.

1 comment:

  1. Why do people drive 42 in a 45?!? This drives me up the wall. UGH.