September 20, 2013

Blogtember - A reaction/finding comfort

React to this term: comfort. 

This is a word that I have been mulling over long before I saw this was the challenge topic for the day. I've been doing a little soul searching over the last week about where I can find comfort--where my heart feels at home. 

There are a lot of things that may potentially change in the near future in my world. Some of those changes may be drastic, some of those just a little change. That uncertainty is leaving me pretty uneasy. 

When I go back to the place I used to call home, it's still the place where I grew up, but I don't see myself making it home again. I see what they mean when they say you can't go home again, but that's another blog for another day.

Now I'm here in a city where I've been for slightly over a year. When I moved into this apartment, I knew I wouldn't be here long. Initially I thought I'd soon move to the 'burbs where I imagined our future would start. I've began putting down roots here. I've since began envisioning my future coming to life. I've found comfort here, in this idea that this was the beginning of our forever.

This week, the idea of me moving to my dream city, the place where I always wanted to be, was indirectly hinted to me. Billy always told me, if I was ever given the opportunity to make my dream come true, not to hesitate. He said he'd follow me there, or anywhere else I'd decide to go.  Exciting, right? Why cant I explain this knot in my throat I've had since I was "given news I don't know about yet."

Now I'm having this internal battle in my head between comfort and dreams. My heart has always lead me to the city where I could potentially soon call home. My head doesn't want to leave the friends I've made here or the opportunities we've laid for ourselves. However, there's no excuse why I can't find comfort after a brief change. On the other hand, who is to say that I will? 

I'm sorry for being somewhat cryptic now. I don't even know if anything is actually going to change, or if I'm going to be presented this offer "i don't know about, but will receive soon." I promise I'll elaborate soon. Stay tuned. 

1 comment:

  1. "Change" and "comfort" are two words I think of as enemies. For a fact, I know I am a creature of my comforts and terrified of change. I want o say congratulations on wanting change and always remember you can make new comforts :)