The Answer to my Question

This is a quote from the 5th season of Dawson's creek. I'm watching this episode right now and had some sort of an epiphany to my question from last night:

Joey:So what is the best ending in all of literature? Don't say Ulysses. Everyone says Ulysses.
Professor David Wilder:That's easy. Sentimental education by Flaubert.
Joey:And what happens?
Professor David Wilder:Nothing, really. Just two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them.
Joey:How do you remember something that never happened?
Professor David Wilder:Fondly. You see, Flaubert believed that anticipation was the purest form of pleasure... and the most reliable. And that while the things that actually happen to you would invariable disappoint, the things that never happened to you would never dim. Never fade. They would always be engraved in your heart with a sort of sweet sadness.

Thanks Professor

Oh, Hi! Remember me? Probably not, so let me remind you.
My name is Megan, and I'm the guide to this blog/incredible journey, I've been really busy lately, and I know it's time for me to apologize for being a horrible narrator lately.

My life is simultaneous in the best place it's ever been and also in the most unsure place it's ever been before. Billy has without a doubt boosted me past cloud 9 and into some incredible breathtaking wonderland.

I spent the weekend with a guy many, many people idolize, fantasize about, and would consider famous. I just consider him another guy, a friend, and confidant. Girls would kill to trade places with me, I would put up a fight for that boy too. We were together for the entire day, and eventually he started revealing things to me that I never dreamed were really real. I won't ever repeat the things he confessed to me and shared, because I treasure his faith and trust in me and refuse to jeopardize it. However, I will say his openness really has increased my worry for him as well as, in my opinion, take my feelings for him past our working relationship, and into one that is more personal, and making the situation a lot more harder to not get attached too.. I'm really thankful Billy is comfortable enough to let me spend time with him, listen to him, and help him through his tougher times. After experiencing this weekend with my friend, I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.

The things this friend shared with me, opened my eyes to a world I didn't think was real, to a life that most don't believe exist after the lights of the bar go off at night and he hops on his bus. People forget he's a real man, with a real life, with real emotions, and real issues just as we all are. My heart is breaking for him, my mind is thinking for him. I still cannot completely grasp some of the things that I learned this weekend. It probably won't ever make sense, because I won't have anyone else's thoughts to help me process it all.. none the less, point being: I'm so confused, and my mind keeps going back still trying to process it all. I am sincerely worried for the well being of my friend, but I have full faith that he's trying his hardest for himself.

He also taught me not to judge a book by it's cover. This is probably the most vital lesson he taught me, and the one that I'm still finding myself catching myself and remember not to judge people until I know them or I have a better grasp of what is going on with their life.

On another note, things in my life are going smoothly. Summer classes have started, and I actually rather enjoy it. I'm a nerd though, so that shouldn't matter. My boyfriend is still the light of my life, and we're going on 5 of the most wonderful months of my life. I've never felt so lucky and blessed before. I owe God a few extra church visits for him. I know this is going to be ending rather abruptly, but I have to get off to that summer class I just mentioned.

Fall Into Me - Brantley Gilbert

Last night Brantley Gilbert gave me a copy of his new cd Halway to Heaven early. I've heard all the tracks before but this one, and I gotta say I'm so weak hearted now because of it. For those of you who don't know B, he's got the biggest, most tender heart of anyone. Therefore you know how true this song is as well as every other one. That's part of what makes B's music so great--it's real. It's about real people, real times, real emotions.. That's what makes each song so relateable, whether you're singing the song to someone or wanting someone to sing these lyrics from "Fall into me" to you..

A whisper away from changing everything

but is it safe to say

such dangerous things

when your hands are tremblin'

girl i'm weak in the knees

it's times like these when silence means everything

more than anything

Fall when you're ready baby

let our kiss count the moments

and our hearts set the pace

I'll be your love song and I'll love you right off your feet

until you fall into me

love ain't a race

there's no finish line

and I love a chase

But don't leave me behind

cause girl we're both gambling but I'm playing for keeps

It's times like these when patience means everything

more than anything

Fall when you're ready baby

let our kiss count the moments

and our hearts set the pace

I'll be your love song and I'll love you right off your feet

until you fall into me

and I'll fall for you everyday

I'll cherish the moments that time can't erase

we'll be the love song

I promise you we're gonna sing

Girl when you fall into me

Girl when you fall into me

C'mon baby fall into me

I'm waiting

fall into me

fall into me

fall into me

A whisper away from changing everything..

Your Mistake - Sister Hazel

So with the introduction of Google Buzz, I was inspired to post an update just so that I have a little substance to go onto my "buzzes" I guess that's what they are called on there..?

School is in session and after I dropped my BSTAT class, it is going very smoothly. Honestly, I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders when the woman in the registrar's office said "ok, done." after I turned in the paperwork withdraw from the class.

I've finally met a guy who treats me like the princess I am not. His name is Billy. He's too, too sweet to me, and has left this permanent smile on my face. He has pretty much got me melted into the palm of his hand, and I'm perfectly ok with being goo. :)

I really have nothing going on besides spending as much time as I can with Billy. I really don't seem to want to do anything but spend time with him these days. He's the highlight of my events--what can I say?

Well, just to avoid a useless post, I'm going to stop before I start blabbering about pointless information that no one cares about, I'm going to focus more of my attention on the Dawson's creek episode that's playing. yes, I have also developed a love of Dawson's Creek after visiting Wilmington this fall, and I am determined to pass Ashlyn in our season watching race. She got a head start, but I'm still going to win. :)

New Years Resolutions

As I stated in my last blog, I have come to realize that I am blessed beyond reason. This year has been a dream come true for me. I've made irreplaceable friends, priceless memories, and one in a lifetime opportunities. With that in mind, I have decided that I want to make a difference in someone else's life in 2010, and give them the opportunity to say that I helped them when they couldn't help themselves--this is my new years resolution. I want to go out of my way for someone(s) to try and make a difference in their life. I've never been one to set resolutions for myself like this. Not that I don't think I'd be able to keep them, or that they are stupid; I just never saw the point in them.. There's a first time for everything, though, right?

I want to devote time, money, energy to 4 different groups of people and/or organizations in some way. As I was thinking who I wanted to help, I couldn't decide which meant more to me and would be most rewarding.

First, the To Write Love On Her Arms organization. In their purpose is to inspire and instill hope in those, especially teens, fighting addiction, depression, self-injury, and suicide. "two out of three peopel who struggle with depression enver seek help, and untreated depression is the leading

cause of suicide. In america Alone, it is estimated that 19 million people live with depression, and suicide is the third-leading cause of death among those 18-24 years old." It's astonishing. We really never take the time to listen to those who may really need us--sometimes that's all it takes. This purpose is one that I want to help, because I've been in those low places before, and I know sometimes all it takes is a little tender loving care. I may not be able to influence someone personally, but I can make a difference somehow. With as high statistics as these, it's impossible not to come in contact with someone suffering. Even if it's simply putting a smile on someones face for a day, it's a difference I made in someone's day.

Did you know there are an estimated 131,000 veterans living in the United States on any given night. I saw a snippet of a cop show on tv not too long ago, a a kind homeless male veterane. He was doing nothing wrong, but seeking shelter next to the home of someone he knew. Apparently, they aren't friends as the man assumed, and the residents called the police asking the man to leave. When asked if he needed assistance, the man responded, "I spent 3 years in vietnam; this is nothing." His optimism should be reassuring, but I was impacted with the thought that he was willing to give ALL for us to sleep peacefully under a roof. He is fortunate enough to come back alive, but has no roof to sleep under for himself. I want to help a homeless person. I could donate time to feed the homeless, money to the VA, anything is an impact and will be appreciated by on of these men or women. It's not that I am discriminating against other victims of homelessness, but these are the ones that impacted me, and I wont to impact them in return. It's the least I could do to someone who gave all for me to have a safe, warm, dry bed to sleep in at night.

Yesterday, I spent the day taking my grandparents on a day trip. My grandfather suffers with Alzheimers. It's depressing, not being remembered, but seeing my grandmother hurt more than he is--emotionally, physically, mentally. He's like an over sized child that you must respect. For most they are hurt more of being forgotten, I'm long over that. I want to help her by giving her an extra hand and support beacon. Maybe I could spend time with patients themselves and more importantly, my grandfather.

Lastly, and probably most strange, I want to put a smile on strangers faces. Ask anyone, at first sight, my default look is not one that many find heartwarming. Most assume I'm a bitch or I am pissed because of my "swagger." Last night, while I was reading MakesYouThink.com I saw where people were moved just by little everyday things people do that were not asked for, unexpected, but totally appreciated. Little do we realize how saying "You looking great" can really turn someones day around. I want to make an effort to brighten up a strangers day for no reason except to say "I impacted someon's life and made the world a better place" yeah, it sounds a little beauty pageant-esq but I believe in fairy tales and dreams do afterall come true.

Makes Me Think

Last night I found this website that left me misty eyed and broken hearted.

Inspired by the format of popular humor site, FMyLife.com (FML), MakesMeThink.com (MMT) was founded as a refined, thought-provoking alternative. MMT is an online community where people share daily life stories that provoke deep thought and inspire positive change.

Sometimes the most random everyday encounters force us to stop and rethink the truths and perceptions we have ingrained in our minds. These encounters are educationally priceless. They spawn moments of deep thought and self-reflection that challenge the status quo and help us evolve as sensible individuals.

Here are a few of my favorite submissions that inspired me to spend a few more extra minutes in my bedtime prayers:

• Today, I was working in a coffee shop when 2 gay men walked in holding hands. As you might expect, heads started turning. Then a young girl at the table next to me asked her mom why 2 men were holding hands. Her mom replied, "Because they love each other." MMT
• Today, I saw a pretty scary looking guy who had a tall blue mohawk and tattoos and piercings all over his body. He was helping my elderly neighbor take her trash down to the curb. My neighbor told me afterwards that the guy was just walking by and offered to help. MMT
• Today, my father gave one slice of pizza to our poor gardener's son - a 6-year-old boy. He wrapped the slice of pizza in a napkin and set it aside. When my father asked him why he wasn’t eating it now, he said, "I’m going to take it home and share it with my mother and sister." MMT
• Today, I was in a public bathroom with my friend. I was complaining about how frizzy my hair looked. The little girl who had been washing her hands next to me lifted up her wig and said, "It could be worse. You could have none at all." MMT
• Today, I saw a blind tourist at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.. Another tourist walked over to the blind man and said, "Do you want to know what it looks like?" and then explained to him in vivid detail exactly what the memorial looks like. MMT

Beautiful and inspiring.. please check it out for yourself. It really will make you think, but you'll feel more blessed than if you never would have thought about it.

Live at the Plantation 2009 - Let's do it again

I'm just taking a stab at guessing this number, but I'd say there were well over 7,000 people gathered together on a hillside within the Tucker Plantation in Colbert, GA to see 4 of the biggest performers in Georgia Country music. I'd be willing to say this was one of the greatest nights of my life, as well of many others who were there.

I arrived shortly after the gates open to find a crowd larger than I expected already waiting for Jason to go on 2 hours before the show was even scheduled to start - we all know that these things never start on time. I was lucky enough to get to give Lyn a hand again, so I got the opproutnity to mingle with the dozens of muscians that were backstage. I gotta tell you, these guys are characters. Not only were the muscians wonderful to work with and have for company, but the guys at RockdogEntertainment are in a league all their own! Brian, Chad, and the others did an amazing job of pulling an event of such great magnitude off without any hitch that was noticiable (if there were any at all).. not to mention were they friendly, helpful, and very appreicitive.


Jason took the job of kicking off the night! The second he hit the stage, he did it running - figuratively of course. He was dropping jaws, turning heads, and making impressions. Because of being press for time, he only got the chance to perform a short 30 minute set, but that was all it took to get the crowd going and to get his name heard. Being on the "Jason Coley Team," I found it pretty exciting that 5,000 people heard his name and will remember it. After hearing crowd reactions, it's pretty obvious that Jason made an impression. I didn't get to sit back and enjoy Jason's set like I'm accustomed to because I was running 290378 an hour snapping pictures and climbing over drumsets and partially drunk people doing so.
What I did get to actually take in was wonderful. Jason's shows are always great, but when there is a crowd he steps up and outdoes himself - never fails. After his set, if followed Jason and his fans as he made his way to his merch table. Seeing the long line of young fans was impressive and oddly enough, humbling.

It was Brantley's turn next. I will probably be a fan of Brantley till the day I die. He is one of the most talented artists I believe there is. He and his band performed well, but I would still recommend seeing him in a smaller venue. This was the first time that I heard him play his new song, "in the sticks," which will be featured on the new album Halfway to Heaven which is planned to be realsed in Februrary 2010.

I was definately impressed with Colt Ford. This guy is a hell of a performer. He is almost a different person once he takes the stage. I just assumed, "oh it's a country rapper; sounds good on a track, but how good can the guy be on stage. I caught myself not taking pictures because I was mezmorized with what the band was doing. It was an honest to god SHOW. Colt brings in other members of his band for solos or duets like "Dirt Road Anthem" with Brantley Gilbert. DRA was an awesome collaboration that really brought down the house Friday night. I never thought I'd say this since I was so skeptical at first, but I wouldn't mind seeing Colt Ford as his own headliner. His DVD "Country as it Does" comes out tonight, and if I really would like to get my hands on it.

Luke Bryan rounded out the list and ended the night for everyone. I saw him about a year ago at the Georgia Theatre (RIP) and said that he was the best show I've ever seen. This show was just as power packed! I just hate that he was unable to play some of my favorites of his. What can you do though? I had the priviledge of meeting him backstage, and was really impressed by how down to earth the guy was considering his stardom. I know the guy is human, but seeing him mingle with the rest of the boys reminded me that he was a real person and not just a guy on my tv.

Overall, I had the night of my life. Getting the chance to meet Luke,ColtLance Stinson, Mister Moby, and Bobby Compton, and seeing Branley and J again made this a night to remember. I'm still on cloud 9 looking back over the pictures or when I watch After the Plantion. Speaking of After the Plantation, you should check it out! I'm proud to say I helped make it happen, and hope to do it again soon!
Thank you Rockdog Entertainment for making it happen. Thanks to all the staff. Thanks to the artists. & Thanks to the fans who came out and made truly the experience!